Why a Website about Grief and Loss?

If you’re reading this then you’ve likely experienced the death of someone you love – if that is the case, I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Or perhaps a friend or family member is grieving their own loss and you’re trying to help them. Whatever the reason, I hope you’ll find LossGriefHope.com to be a place of comforting information and support.

open-doorWhy Did I Create LossGriefHope.com?

Here is the short answer to that question: To inform, comfort, and support grieving individuals by sharing modern perspectives on grief and loss.

 If you want more detail, here are some of the purposes and goals of the blog:

  1. Share modern information on grief and loss
  2. Reflect genuine grief responses (Not all sunshine and rainbows; Not all doom and gloom)
  3. Embrace the wide variety of grief responses
  4. Share and discuss creative and inspirational ideas
  5. Support all bereaved people – regardless of their religious or faith perspective.
 1) Share modern information on grief and loss

My goal is to present helpful information in an understandable and easy-to-read format that is based on the most recent scholarship and practice in the field of grief and loss. For example, you will often see references to grief-related academic books and prominent scholars. In addition to having my PhD in counseling psychology and specializing in grief, I belong to the pre-eminent association for grief and loss in North America and am Certified in Thanatology: Death, Dying, and Bereavement (See About Me). I use my knowledge and professional associations to continually stay current in the field and evaluate the helpfulness of new trends in grief support.

You would think that given the universality of grief and loss, that they would be better understood. Yet I frequently see harmful myths about grief and loss being shared. Many online resources for loss and grief continue to publish outdated information.  In some cases, the resources simply haven’t been updated, while others share the outdated information they have learned. One of my primary goals is to continually keep abreast of the most modern practices and scholarship in the field.

youngwidow92) Reflect genuine grief responses (Not all sunshine and rainbows; Not all doom and gloom)

Some loss and grief resources focus entirely on vague “positive” messages and distraction. These sources focus on pictures, music, and messages that point toward simplistic platitudes. I believe that loss and grief must be dealt with as genuinely as possible. Sometimes people need to sit in the darkness for a while. Sometimes they need to be distracted. Sometimes they need to be lifted up out of the cellar. Sometimes bereaved people are mad, sad, glad, afraid, guilt-stricken, inconsolable, shocked, happy, and a million other adjectives all at the same time. I want people to have the opportunity to explore and be supported in all of their grief responses – not be distracted from their loss or given simplistic answers.

3) Embrace the wide variety of grief responses

The reality is that each individual has multiple reactions to their losses – and these reactions will change and morph over time. You can feel relieved and sad at the same time. You can alternate between feeling at peace and inconsolable. Over time you may even find that there were positive outcomes to the loss. You may have thoughts and feelings that you can never share with your loved ones. So one of the goals is to discuss the realities of grief and loss in a genuine way.

You may hate the deceased. You may wonder how you’ll live without them. A part of you may feel relief that they have died. You may feel and think many things that you don’t believe you could ever share with others – or you worry if you are a terrible person for thinking and feeling them. This is the ‘real stuff.’ We won’t shy away from these topic – and you’ll discover that you’re not alone in feeling them.

sunsetman4) Share and discuss creative and inspirational ideas

Just because the information is modern and research-oriented, doesn’t mean that there is a clear answer for every situation. This is a place to share and discover information and inspiration. For example, you might want to learn about creative ways to honor your loved one or inventive ways people have chosen to promote their own healing. We’ll cover topics like:

  • Are grief tattoos a good idea?
  • Should I keep mementos?
  • What should you do with the urns in your closet (or basement or garage)?
  • Do you need a do-over funeral?

I’m not selling a “method” or easy way to remove your grief. There are no magic wands, magic words, or cure-all solutions. But hopefully the content will help you feel, think, act, reconsider, engage, and heal. But the process is usually messy and muddled and may take a while.

5) Support all bereaved people – regardless of their religious or faith perspective

I’ve intentionally created this website to support people from a variety of faith and spiritual perspectives (including those who are unsure of their faith/spirituality or avoid the spiritual world entirely). If you identify as Christian, Jewish, Agnostic, Atheist, Hindu, Buddhist, or any other religious or spiritual perspective, I hope you’ll find your views supported here. Perhaps your losses have caused you to question your religious and spiritual beliefs – this is a common response to loss and you will never hear me use platitudes such as “Don’t question God” or “God knows what’s best.”

Recommendations and Affiliate Disclaimer: I sometimes promote, mention, review, and link to books, products, or services. Sometimes I receive complimentary books, discounts, or promotional items. I only recommend products or services that I believe will help my readers. I have some links to Amazon to make it easy to review and/or purchase some items. As part of the Amazon Affiliate program, I receive a small referral credit for each purchase (although your price does not change). Maintaining LossGriefHope.com isn’t cheap and these credits help me keep it running.